alexdamien

Ok, so I'm at the social service again. *looks at the clock* 7:30, ugh. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't gone to sleep at midnight yesterday. But, the batterie tag on tumblr happened and I didn't wanna get out of it. U.U I don't feel too bad about it because I've been doing all I have to do and now usually just hang around there for a little while before I go to sleep so it's not too bad. I've been purging my follow list though. Following over 300 blogs can't be a good thing.

Especially when I don't interact with anyone. That's what I dislike the most about Tumblr. It's so hard to carry on an actual conversation/comment thread and I end up feeling like I'm just shouting into a huge empty space. Really annoying tbh.

Anyway, today after my social service I'm gonna go back home and one of my uncles is going to give me his old iphone3. It's gonna be a little awkward because honestly I didn't want to beg for it and he's always so arrogant about everything. But my own cell is off commission completely, hell knows why; and my ipod is on the verge of dying too so I guess it'll be for the best. I just hope he doesn't act too full of himself. That's the problem with my family, you have to kneel and thank profusely and worship them for any favor. It's really pissing me off.

After that I'll go to my parents' house to give money to my mom because she's completeky broke. Money problems arise again (thanks dad). And I also hane to pay for my tuition and the dentist. All in all it's gonna be around *calculating...* 3730 pesos, or around 286 dollars. Considering I get paid 4700 pesos that leaves me around 970 pesos for the rest of the month, roughly 74 dollars. Dammit!
My parents' money troubles are awfull.
But at least I won't lack food. I just hate that no matter what I do, there's just never enough money for everything. If my dad doesn't get any money soon We're gonna be in trouble... I've been thinking of asking my grandmother to pay my school this month but I honestly don't want to. I mean, I should be able to earn my own money and there MUST be something I can do to get some extra income. I probably just can't see it because of panic over money worries >:/
*sigh*
I'll try to relax at the very least.

Ok, so I have very mixed feelings right now. On the one hand, I've paid for my entrance exam for the UNAM and everything seems to be going fine. On the other hand, I MUST be on the sign up place to have my photo taken and have my appointment for the exam on April 30th at 11 a.m., which means I would have to skip work to go sign up, and I don't even know how long that will take.

And it's accounting closure, which means that it's the worst possible moment to ask for a day off. 

I've though about asking my boss to let me go do the sign up and I would just go back to work once it's over.
It really depends on how we do on Monday, when we have to finish all the work there is so it's finished by that very day. I guess I won't really know what will happen until Monday night, at the very last moment. No use worrying there. I'll just give my all on Monday and things will hopefully go alright.

I'm really trying to not panic here (which was actually my first reaction when I realized what happened with the sign up dates) but it's hard, and I'm not feeling very well right now.

In fact, after paying for the exam, I am left with exactly 30 pesos until I get paid, which will hopefully be around next Wednesday. If you don't know how much that is, keep in mind that 13 pesos=1 dollar. I have less than three dollars.

But...I'll be fine. I don't need much money, in fact, and I can just ask my grandma if I really need money for the bus to work and school.
Ungh, I really have got to speed up with the accounting stuff. OTL

Ok, so, plans for the weekend include:

- Baking something
-Going out running (don't have any money for squash)
-Studying hard
-Making my accounting business cards

I've really got to study a lot. I mean...it's cool I guess if I don't get to sign up and miss this chance, there will be another one in november, and losing 350 pesos (around 27 dollars) isn't THAT bad. I'll get over it and it'll be fine. I would just like it a bit better if things would work out.

I keep feeling like it's thursday. Maybe because I can't wait for this damned week to be over. I had in fact an extremely emo post ready to publish yesterday but it disappeared twice for completely accidental reasons. I've decided to take that as a sign and not push it. Besides, things are looking a bit brighter (emphasis on A Bit) and I was approached by a coworker about some tax stuff that she needs help with. It might not come to anything, but it still made me happy.

Ah, I hope I don't have classes until almost ten like yesterday :/ that sucked. And it's soooo hot lately. Gosh, it feels like I'm gonna melt at any moment :(

On completely unrelated news, I changed my tumblr background for something that makes me look like a hyperactive twelve year old. I had lots of fun. I'm on my ipod so If you want to see it go to daemonrolling.tumblr.com :)

Today I had to go to the Interactive Museum of Economy in downtown Mexico City with my whole class. It was tiring, but also very fun. There were a lot of very interesting games where I learned a lot about economy :) Here are a few pics of them



I also went to see a silver jewelry exposition at the Culture Palace, but they don't let anyone take photos there, so... U.U

After going to the Culture Palace I passed by the otaku plaza and bought this:

 I'm an accountant, and yet the one thing my job has taught me about is time. That everything is now, and time falls through your fingers like sand.

Time is such a strange thing. One moment you think you have it all, and suddenly there's none and you're screwed. For me personally it's more a matter of always putting things for later. I set things aside and say that I'll do it later, and then I don't and suddenly everything is urgent and everything goes down in flames.

Meh, maybe it's just the anxiety talking. This job has been making my anxiety levels soar like woah. I mean, I've always had to live with anxiety and self hatred. It's something that is very ingrained in me. I don't really know why, maybe it's just because...I don't know, everybody expects me to be perfect or something. Which is STUPID since I always fail at everything and have never succeeded at absolutely anything in life.

I'm sort of in a bad mood. My boss called me out today because I'd forgotten to send an email and I've been beating myself over that all day. It always starts like that, and then I can't stop thinking about how useless I am. Gods, this is awfull. And I have to be at work at 7 tomorrow, which sucks too.

I just wanna watch The Devil Wears Prada and not think about anything anymore.