Time Obsessed
Apr. 10th, 2013 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexdamien I'm an accountant, and yet the one thing my job has taught me about is time. That everything is now, and time falls through your fingers like sand.
Time is such a strange thing. One moment you think you have it all, and suddenly there's none and you're screwed. For me personally it's more a matter of always putting things for later. I set things aside and say that I'll do it later, and then I don't and suddenly everything is urgent and everything goes down in flames.
Meh, maybe it's just the anxiety talking. This job has been making my anxiety levels soar like woah. I mean, I've always had to live with anxiety and self hatred. It's something that is very ingrained in me. I don't really know why, maybe it's just because...I don't know, everybody expects me to be perfect or something. Which is STUPID since I always fail at everything and have never succeeded at absolutely anything in life.
I'm sort of in a bad mood. My boss called me out today because I'd forgotten to send an email and I've been beating myself over that all day. It always starts like that, and then I can't stop thinking about how useless I am. Gods, this is awfull. And I have to be at work at 7 tomorrow, which sucks too.
I just wanna watch The Devil Wears Prada and not think about anything anymore.
Time is such a strange thing. One moment you think you have it all, and suddenly there's none and you're screwed. For me personally it's more a matter of always putting things for later. I set things aside and say that I'll do it later, and then I don't and suddenly everything is urgent and everything goes down in flames.
Meh, maybe it's just the anxiety talking. This job has been making my anxiety levels soar like woah. I mean, I've always had to live with anxiety and self hatred. It's something that is very ingrained in me. I don't really know why, maybe it's just because...I don't know, everybody expects me to be perfect or something. Which is STUPID since I always fail at everything and have never succeeded at absolutely anything in life.
I'm sort of in a bad mood. My boss called me out today because I'd forgotten to send an email and I've been beating myself over that all day. It always starts like that, and then I can't stop thinking about how useless I am. Gods, this is awfull. And I have to be at work at 7 tomorrow, which sucks too.
I just wanna watch The Devil Wears Prada and not think about anything anymore.
ALL MY MACHINERY HATES THIS SITE.
Date: 2013-04-11 04:38 am (UTC)Well I could offer advice but we both know I'm fucked in the head, so instead what I'mma do here is leave my always on Gmail in yer inbox and remind you I'm here still.
Why for not LJ I am confus!EDIT: NOTHING makes sense here so I'll just drop it here: onionrai (at) gmail (dot) com
Re: ALL MY MACHINERY HATES THIS SITE.
Date: 2013-04-12 10:34 pm (UTC)I think we're all fucked up in the head, in various different way ;P the only thing left is to keep on going.
*hugs*